call·ing (noun)
\ˈkȯ-liŋ\1 : a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action
especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence
Over the last few months, I have announced to family,
friends, colleagues and students that after fourteen years in public education,
I have felt the call of God to enter full-time
ministry. The response has been mixed.
From those within my church, I received overwhelming support
and congratulations. Many of them expect me to be confident and excited when
they hear of plans to begin seminary and start a new life. Those outside the
church have been very polite, but confused. Calling?
What does that mean? I don’t necessarily think that people within the church
understand any better, perhaps they are too embarrassed to ask. I have no
intentions in explaining the concept of calling,
mainly because I do not think I adequately can, but I hope that my experience
can bring others peace.
“For many are
invited, but few are chosen.” Matthew 22:14
While the concept of calling
has been intimately connected to a career or work in many faiths and cultures,
the idea of a specific calling from
God has baffled many of those to strive to follow Christ regardless of their
area of employment. I have not been an exception to this rule. I struggled with
the idea of being called to the
ministry since my undergraduate days. My question wasn’t about necessarily
about if I was called, but whether or
not there were people God didn’t call.
Think about it. Are there some that are called
to do God’s work, and everyone else is essentially off the hook? It didn’t make
sense. I decided at that point in my life, that I wasn’t called to full time ministry. This is good, because at that time, I wasn’t.
“This is to my Father’s glory, that you
bear much fruit,
showing yourselves to
be my disciples.” John 15:8
I started a career as a public school teacher because I was called. I felt I was gifted as a teacher
and had the ability to reach young people. I myself became a Christian at
seventeen, and I thought I could have a greater impact in a public school than
in a church setting. So for fourteen years that is what I did. I grew excited
every fall and lamented each summer. This time in my life bore fruit in many
ways. The students responded as I ministered through after school clubs, as a church
youth leader, in my coaching and individual mentoring. In addition, I grew in
faith and maturity as a spiritual leader in my home and church. Each school year
brought renewed hope and purpose, until this year.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this
world,
but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is
—his good, pleasing
and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
Let me clear something up, I have not decided to go into
ministry to get away from teaching. On the contrary, things are going very well.
Earlier this year, the student body selected me as their faculty homecoming
king and many students request my classes. Though trends in education were diminishing
my influence on students, my experience and seniority have made my work
relatively easy. I lived quite comfortably with my current salary, and in
fifteen years, I could coast into retirement at a relatively young age. I was
conforming, and I wasn’t the only one. I saw those around me, many claiming to
be Christians, become content with a relaxed, isolated, suburban existence. This
apathy among those who claim to follow Christ created unrest in my soul; I sensed
God calling me to full-time ministry.
“I urge you to live a
life worthy of the calling you have received.” Ephesians 4:1a
When I first approached the subject of quitting my job to
start seminary with my wife, I prepared myself with many arguments and
justifications. To my astonishment, my wife completely agreed. Her peace about
this situation is significant because of her personality. She is a planner, a “Type
A”, yet she is completely convinced that this is something God is calling our
family to do. That is it. No audible voice, no visionary dream, no burning
bush. I quit my job and applied to seminary. While this ride is exhilarating,
it is also terrifying, and though we are concerned with what the future holds,
nothing has ever seemed more real than the call.
"Calling." Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2012.
Merriam-Webster Online. 8 February 2012.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/calling
Note: It is my hope not to demystify the calling experience or distill it into something tangible or simple. While I feel confidence in this call, I believe it is a unique confidence that has grown as I deepen in this process. The first steps are always the most frightening.
