J: "Those are the new metal Bakugans, Daddy. We need those."
Me: "Jacob, we don't need those. Needs are --"
J: "Yes we do, because I don't have any of those!"
Me: "We don't need to have everything we see, Jake --"
J: "But we don't have those!"
Actual exaggeration of a conversation taking place between me and satellite provider on March 31, 2011:
SP: "Thank you for calling _______ _______ how can I be of service, today?"
Me: "Yes, I would like to cancel my service."
SP: "I am sorry to hear that sir, may I ask why you are cancelling today?"
Me: "You may."
SP: "Uh . . . Why you are cancelling today?"
Me: "Television is choking the life out of my family. We find ourselves wanting things we do not need."
SP: "If someone is choking you, sir, you should dial 911."
Me: "No, it's a metaphor."
SP: "A metaphor is choking you?"
Me: "No . . . We watch too much TV, we would like to cancel our service."
SP: "Are you still being choked?"
Me: "No that person left."
SP: "Sir, you realize you could avoid the cancellation penalty and keep your local channels for only $14.99."
Me: "I can get local channels with my rabbit ears."
SP: "You have rabbit ears?"
Me: "Uh, it's an antenna."
SP: "Riiiiiight. Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
Me: "No that's it."
SP: "Okay, thank you for calling ________ ________. Have a nice day, and sir, do be careful."
Me: "Thanks, I will."
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